S O U N D   O F F

April 20, 2008

Pope Benedict XVI warns "failure to ensure right to food is violation of human dignity." He wants our planet to grow enough food to assure no one goes “to sleep on an empty stomach.”

But Pope Benedict faces a strong opponent.

Mr. Al Gore thought he’d won title of President of the United States of America. But found later that he hadn’t.

Filled with rage, Al rallied his buddies at the UN and European Union to come up with a plan whereby they could crush America and give Al title to a territory much larger than America. Something like…the world.

They needed to come up with something that would stir millions to march faithfully behind them.

They met on a big O yacht and tried to figure out how to make billions of dollars and help Al get title to the world.

Suddenly, a warm gust of wind lifted them to a heap of hot rocks where they founded a new religion they named “Church of the Hot Rocks,” and anointed Al Gore Head Preacher.

Al rejected the name Church of the Hot Rocks, for it wasn’t big enough for him. Remember. He wanted title to something larger than America. “And besides,” he argued, “What if “hot rocks” is misinterpreted as a cure of Erectile Dysfunction, and the FDA shuts us down?”

So after much fussing and fighting, they agreed on a new name, “Church of Global Warming.”

In his first sermon, Preacher Gore asked his people “Weather - or not?”

They answered in unison, “Weather!” And thusly they set up a doctrine that portended to stop “climate change” and any other loose change that followed.

They chanted, “Here ye, here ye. Flat mother earth heats up today! Stop climate change now, or it will harden her arteries, make her hatter mad and sleeping dogs lie.”

Al told stories about the sharp increases of hot air entering Hollywood, scaring the pants off newborns and older.

Their mantras became louder, “Be alarmed! Be scared! Be cautious. Stop moving. Don’t drive. Don’t milk a cow. Don’t smile. You’re making the climate angry. Worse yet, mad!”

Al bellows, “Give money to the Church of Global Warming. Only we can prevent climate change today so you can rest in peace tomorrow!”

How does this tie into Mr. Gore competition Pope Benedict’s call to feed the poor and hungry?

Well the Church of Global Warming is using a method called precautionary principle to crush America. Remember Al’s plan to crush America?

The main characteristic of precautionary principle is: Before an entity releases anything into the market, laws, treaties and regulations based solely on speculations of the possibility entity is guilty of someday emitting something unforeseen by sound science today, and deemed bad tomorrow, and therefore because public needs to be protected from the unforeseen possibility of this quite possibly bad product producing entity, entity needs to be punished ahead of time and product seized by a form of government called socialism. The head of the socialistic government then controls entity and further mandates entity hand over its profits to the common good.

Here are some recognizable examples of precautionary principles:
a) Polar bear might disappear within the hour. Do NOT mine there! b) Spotted owl needs that tree. Do NOT log there! c) Bison need super highway from New York to California. Do NOT farm there! d) Nature Conservancy decides your ranch is the last great place on earth and wants to save it for anyone but you. Do NOT ranch there! e) We need to guard every puddle of water in the world. Do NOT pee there!

America has for centuries, provided a steady, safe supply of food for all who reside within, and many who live outside.

But Al Gore and his buddies are busy, busy, busy, wallpapering America with precautionary principles, chipping away its ability to feed the poor and hungry, and priming it for the crushing.

Do you think the Pope should have a little visit with Mr. Gore? He could request Al either defend his climate change position in open debate with a scientist, or stop marketing it.

Do you think Pope Benedict XVI should explain to Mr. Gore how his Church of Global Warming is already leaving less food on our tables?

Doesn’t this dishonor human dignity?

How does Mr. Gore’s Church of Global Warming serve you?

Better question, what is Al’s Church of Global Warming serving you?

Food for thought…only?

Roni Bell Sylvester