S T O R I E S
A Mother's pieces of mind
Excerpt from "The Bread Mixer" by Roni Bell © 2008
Yet, still being "a Mom" gives drive to do whatever it takes to help each of you become financially healthy, and overrides any fears.
Please understand, that I believe knowledge is power, and that the more you know about money management - even if you only have 2 pennies to manage- will definitely make your situation better!
Believe me: Long term budgeting, even if you're working with 2 pennies, is better than the alternative. Now I've never really talked about some of the stupid un-caring actions your dad did, never really thought bringing that stuff up would serve any constructive purpose. Besides, as you were growing up, I wanted you to have a dad you could be proud of.
Now you're adults deserving the whole picture, if for no other reason than to help you understand why your learning to manage your money is so important to me.
Over the years, instead of facing some of the financial commitments your dad made, he laid the burden on me while he avoided and ignored them, and I allowed him to hide behind me.
He always had "excuses" for not addressing his commitments.
In the case of the promissory note between your dad and my Dad, although it was not of my doing, because of it I was the recipient of severe and unfair punishment and public denigration before the entire family, by - as you well know - my brother, your uncle George.
Your Dad remained exempt from their wrath.
In the case of the IRS, I have zero credit (Don't even show up on their records.), and a continuing battle with the IRS due to your dad's actions. Again, he remains exempt.
I hate seeing what appears to be a continuation of your dad's way of going pattern of: "Once upon a time bad things happened to me. I've decided to let them control my life, and choose to ignore cleaning up after myself, because my life is worse than anyone else's."
Yes, Ralph has helped stabilize me financially - BUT, don't ever dismiss this by claiming, "Oh Mom's so lucky;" for I am ever vigilant about "carrying my share!"
I would NEVER take advantage of this decent, kind man. Ever!
He's had many terrible unfair travesties hit him in his lifetime, but he didn't complain, kept his head tucked, sleeves rolled up, budget in action, and did whatever work he could find to stay ahead.
No work is beneath Ralph, if it is morally righteous and helps pay the bills.
From listening to him, I've concurred that what has kept that boy moving forward, is that he's NEVER stopped working. Between jobs- he'd "get a job."
And Ralph is by a long shot, the best money manager I've ever known!
I know you're probably not aware of this, but collectively I've heard from each of you at various, sundry times, stuff like: "I can't. You don't understand Mom. I can't. I don't like that. No Mom. That would be stupid. I hate those people. Mom, YOU need to stop being so judgmental. I'm WAY too busy! I don't have time to make a schedule. I don't have time to make a budget. I don't have time! You expect me to read THAT! I hate doing THAT kind of work. Oh NO, why would I want to do that? I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't."
The best present you could possibly give me, would be some genuine enthusiastics including: "Gee Mom. What a great idea. I'm willing to give it a try. Thank you for the suggestion. Yes. I recognize there's pride in doing any job well. I really enjoy those people. I know that to get ahead I have to place a value on myself, be of sincere joy while letting others know the great things I have to off and get compensated for. I will no longer allow people to take advantage of my services. I will own up to and properly settle my commitments. I have value, and will request just compensation for my work. I'll bring enthusiasm, skills and energy into every place I enter, and promise always to leave them bouncing with joy over me and the services I brought them."
Think of life as pot luck. You can bring something to it that will make you and everyone sick, or you can bring something yummy, healthy, happy, safe! You decide.
And here's an extra little tip: If you want to read another's mind, then make an effort to walk in THEIR shoes. You'll be amazed at how that will change your perspective about them...and yourself!
Anyway, you get the jest.
Please exercise cognizance of your aura of influence; which is being aware that most often what you see. is a reflection of your actions. If you want to see cheer and zest, then act with cheer and zest! If you want to hear deep sighs and yawns and see grumpy- incommunicado, then go ahead and let everyone know you're more tired than anyone who ever walked this earth, and be grumpy and incommunicado.
Your actions will be met respectively; so don't be surprised if other people decide they do or don't want to be around you... respectively.
Just be aware that the way you handle yourself is ALWAYS your choice!
I recently heard William Shatner say, "Be aware of what you do, and know always that you're making choices. For example. If you want to get drunk, then put that in your schedule book: "On Monday, July 7th, I'm going to get drunk. 5:00 PM to 2:00 AM. I plan to have at least a six pack of beer, then be extremely rude, thoughtless, waste my money, jeopardize my family's well being, and be dangerous to everyone around me."
"Write down your plans, and be aware of what you're doing," he said.
Think in terms of energizing an area, not sucking the energy out. Pretty simple.
With that, I leave you the information that follows.
Seriously. If you take even one minute from your daily activities to study, then one more minute to apply, doing so will earn/save you those 2 pennies and more, earn you and save you MORE TIME, and give you a foundation from which to build financial stability.
With love and respect, I just gave each of you pieces of my mind, in hopes they're the ones you needed, to finish your puzzles.
Love,
Mom
Excerpt from "The Bread Mixer" by Roni Bell © 2008
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